Why Thursdays Are Our Toughest Day: Navigating Transition in a Blended Family

If you’re part of a blended family, you’ll know that some days are just harder than others. For us, Thursdays are the most emotionally charged day of the week. They always have been. We have the boys sixty percent of the time, but every Tuesday and Wednesday night, they stay at their bio-dad’s. And while co-parenting is a journey, it’s the transitions that can really throw a family off balance.

Every Thursday, the children come back together after two days apart, and you can almost feel the shift in the air. It takes time for them to find their place again in the family. George finds this particularly tricky. Thursday afternoons often started with a lot of tension. He’d be short tempered with Lottie and Rupert, and more often than not, there were tears from all four children before bedtime! But by Friday morning things would settle back into their familiar flow.

I’ll be honest, I didn’t understand it at first. I was frustrated. But eventually, Sam and I began to really see what was happening. George wasn’t just acting out; he was trying to readjust. At his bio-dad’s, he’s the centre of attention, he’s one of two. Then he returns to our home, where he’s one of four, expected to jump straight back into the role of big brother, sharing space and time with us. That’s a huge emotional shift for a child.

As parents, especially in blended families, we get pulled in every direction, and it’s easy to have unrealistic expectations; we assume our children will just bounce from one home to another. But for George, Thursdays weren’t just any day. They became what we now call ‘transition day’.

So, we had to change things up! We spoke to George, and we really listened and acknowledged how hard it must be living between two homes because Sam and I never experienced that as children. We gently set boundaries: it’s okay to feel frustrated, but it’s not okay to take that out on everyone else.

So now, on Thursdays, George walks home from school and has ten minutes of quiet time before the rest of the chaos descends (me and three other children). It’s not much, but it’s enough. That tiny pocket of space gives him a moment to breathe and readjust back to our family routine. It’s been a game changer.

But it’s not just George who struggles on transition day. Even now, all this time later, the others have their wobbles too. Just last week, Lottie became really emotional on a Thursday. After some gentle chatting and a few extra cuddles, she admitted that when the boys come home, she feels like I love them more. And you know what? It broke my heart a little. Because I do miss George and Henry terribly when they’re gone. When they come back, I want to smother them in kisses, ask them a hundred questions about their days, and hold onto them just a little bit tighter.

But these reunions don’t happen in isolation, they happen in the middle of our busy family kitchen, with everyone grabbing snacks and debriefing on their day. The truth is, Lottie’s feelings weren’t wrong or unreasonable. They were very real. That’s one of the trickiest parts of blending families, managing the emotional undercurrents that come from living between two homes. Sibling jealousy can be amplified. As a mum, I never want any of my children to feel like they come second. But I also can’t deny how deeply I miss the ones who aren’t here. I feel the same when Lottie and Rupert have a weekend away with their bio-mum’s parents.

Transition days are simultaneously my favourite and least favourite days of the week. It’s the day I get all my children back together and nothing makes my heart happier. But I also know that emotions will run high as everyone readjusts. A bit like turbulence on an aeroplane, we just need to put on our seatbelts and ride out the storm.

It’s taken me time to realise that, in our blended family, everyone feels the absence when George and Henry are with their bio-dad. Looking back, I know that I was guilty of making assumptions about how the children were feeling and thought about the challenges through the lens of an adult rather than from their perspective.

So now I try to really listen. In a house full of little voices and big emotions, being truly present (especially on transition day) is so important. There’s no magical solution – I wish there was – but for us, I’ve realised that the only real answer is to just be there when they all need me, keep listening, and provide them with reassurance. I try to let them know that their feelings are valid, and to show up for them, even when it’s a struggle. And on transition day, the struggle is real!